Week of Wedding and End of School

Oh goodness. This week is my final week of school (And all the angels sing: "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!". I have two pretty big tests on Thursday and an in-class essay to write and then I'm basically done this week. I have to come back for one more final for my history class next week, but that's not until Tuesday. Anyway, this is all very exciting and all, but I also have a wedding that I'm in on Saturday complete with loads of wedding festivities this week while trying to prepare for tests. So, on Thursday after my final class ends at 6:45 I will be running like crazy to try and get to a bachelorette party all the way down south at 7:30 (and I don't usually get home until about 7:00 if I leave class right away and drive to my house which is about 5-7 minutes away). The bachelorette is an overnight deal, so the next morning I believe the plan is to go to the church and help decorate before the rehearsal brunch later in the day. After that I am having a friend spend the night (who is also a bridesmaid) at my house so that we can get up at the crack of dawn and do hair/makeup before pictures at 10:00 am (also clear the heck downtown). The wedding will start at 1:00 and then we will party hardy for the next several hours. Boy oh boy. I don't really know why I'm writing about this actually, but I'm just trying to map it all out in my head and try to swallow all the things I need to do before school ends.
I really do like weddings, and school isn't too bad (I've had a fairly easy semester), but this week is enough to make me go crazy... :p

As Deep Cries Out to Deep

Lately the Lord has just been pressing upon my heart this idea of deep crying out to deep. It started as I was listening to the song "Always" by Hillsong United; my heart was just so moved by the words of the song since that is exactly where I am at right now in my walk with the Lord ("Cause all you are is all I want always. Draw me close in your arms, O God, I wanna be with you."). Then I just started thinking (certainly had to be God, since I am not nearly that clever) about how as people we seek after depth, whether it be depth in friendships, romantic relationships, spirituality (in all sorts of forms), or something else.
Contrary to what pop culture tells us, humans are deep individuals who are not satisfied with what this world gives us because it is not enough. Are we selfish? Sure we are, but it goes beyond that. The reason we are not satisfied is because we so long for deeper meaning in life. God is such a big part of that deeper meaning that we need fulfilled, but relationships with other people are also a huge part of that. God meant for us to have fellowship with him AND each other! Let me say that again, God meant for us to have fellowship with him AND each other!!!
I know for myself I have always been under the impression that the only thing I need is Jesus and anytime I would get hurt by one of my friends it was no big deal because I didn't need them anyway. But that is so not what Jesus is about! He intended for us to have relationship with one another or he would never have given Eve to Adam in the very beginning of the world. The three of them had equal fellowship together. This is not to say that we do not need the Lord, because certainly we do. But what I am proposing is that it doesn't have to be an either or, it is both. One of my friends said one time (though he did steal it from one of his friends, so really I am quoting two people) that, "Some of the greatest things we learn about God we learn through the lives of the people around us." That is so true! We cannot have a healthy relationship with God unless we are in deep relationships with other people because we practice with them all of the things God is teaching us.
Something that is so sad to me is how our culture is obsessed with this idea of romance. All of the songs on the radio have to do with romantic ideas whether that be Taylor Swift's "Love Story" song, or "Whatcha Say" by Jason DeRulo. But if you think about it, dating relationships can be some of the deepest relationships we experience. It makes sense that people would want a part of that and would seek out others when those ones don't work out. But what if our other relationships were just as deep as those ones? What would happen? I wager to bet that our culture would become less enthralled with the idea of romantic love when all of our other relationships changed because we sought one another out and worked toward the goal of digging deeper.
I want to dig deeper in all of my relationships because I feel that's what God wants for all of us. We can do that by pursuing our friendships (and romantic relationships - please understand I am not trying to downplay that at all, because I think they are good and we learn a lot from them) instead of allowing ourselves to become apathetic about them. Choosing to do more than text or call, but writing letters just to write them or setting up regular "coffee dates" is a fantastic way to pursue those friendships. These are things I know I need to work on since I am not always the best at communication, but it's my lifetime goal to dig deep with you -the ones I call my friends.

Jesus, You Love Me More

I walked along this path called life searching for something I could not find.
I looked high and low; near and far; this place and that.
I searched for a love that would somehow complete me;
the kind of love I looked for that would fill the gaping whole in my chest I was so desperately trying to close.
I looked for this love in my family - one member after another.
Though their love was full and great, it was not enough to drown out the pain that gnawed at my heart.
I looked for this love in friends - girl friends and guy friends alike.
They too had a deep and sincere love, but it was a poor attempt to patch my heart together.
Finally I looked for love in boys - one relationship after another.
As one relationship would end another would start. Though this love seemed to fill the hole for a while, it only left the hole bigger after it ended.
After many failed attempts at finding love on my own love finally found me.
It searched for me from one end of the earth to the other - searching for MY heart in every place.
This love paid the ultimate price for me - life.
I did nothing to deserve this love; I didn't even know this love existed.
But it's here and now.
Jesus, you love me more than any one else can.
Your love is deeper, it is richer, it is purer than anything this world can offer me.
It satisfies my soul when I am wanting. It holds my heart when I am hurting. It reminds me of the unfathomable sincerity and unmatchable greatness when I try to find love in other places.
Jesus, you are the only one I need. You are the only one my heart truly yearns for.
Would you continue to remind me of who you are and how your love casts out all other fears.
Continue to woo my heart and let me fall deeper in love with you.

Boys and Girls

I'm sitting here laughing as I avoid the remainder of pages in my English Composition book (over 40 pages of reading in just ONE of the books we were assigned to - and it's not a novel book. Needless to say I was a little annoyed for the second day of class). The reason I am laughing is because of the difference between how a boy thinks vs. how a girl thinks. In the kitchen, not 20 feet away from where I am sitting, I hear Seth and Hadassah (my younger brother and sister) engage in a conversation that is so typical and clearly defines the logical method men use and the emotional method (or sometimes a lack-thereof) that women use.
Hadassah begins the conversation as she begins to cry over some unknown catastrophe. Seth, immediately in annoyed older brother mode, asks, "Hadassah, WHY are you CRYING?!" She responds with, "Because of my hotdog!" (Sniff, sniff) "What ABOUT your hotdog?" "It has Ketchup on it!" :(
At this point I am already chuckling at the absurdity of the 'dilemma.' Though I was giggling, Seth, being the practical older brother, tells her to wipe it off. Hadassah, seeing a glimmer of hope in the most devastating of circumstances, asks him how she should wipe it off to which Seth responds, "Your finger." Hadassah, immediately repelled by the retort, drops the subject and I am silently rolling on the floor (my door was open, so there was no hope whatsoever in keeping my laughter to myself without covering my mouth).
I just laughed and laughed thinking of various times that I have probably put different men throughout my life in similar situations where they are completely confused as to what the real problem is. It was just a funny little thing I witnessed that further proves the difference between how men and women think. :)

Desperation

It's amazing to see how desperate we are for God, yet how we can't see that desperation until HE reveals it to us. Lately I have just yearned to be with Jesus. I won't lie to you and say that I have satisfied that yearning every time. In fact, I haven't more times than I have - something that is quite humbling to admit. I feel like Paul when he is writing to the Romans and says 'what I want to do I don't do, but what I don't want to do, I do.' (paraphrased of course). Yet I have been jobless for the last year now and in the last few months have needed Jesus more than ever. I just recently started school at the local community college and realized that it will be a great opportunity for me to share my thoughts on the Lord and how everything we do comes as a result of our worldview of God (I'm very excited about my ethics class!) :)
God is everywhere and we cannot escape our need for him. I'm looking forward to this school year to see what he does in my life as he reminds me of my desperate need for him. My prayer is that he will show me how to show those around me in my classes and (hopefully) my work environment as I do what I want to do and press into him more and more! I pray that for you as well. :)

Okay, this is going to be a little less than thrilling for all you dog lovers out there

Alright now, I'm not really an animal person all around, but I thought this was funny.

Life at home has been a bit stressful just with lots of toddlers running around, spending most of my time on vacation than actually at my house and still needing to unpack my dorm stuff (a project I'm trying to tackle today). Anyway, I promise more is coming! In the meantime I hope you find this as humorous as I did. :)

Excerpts from the Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 am - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm - OH boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
6:00 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

Excerpts from the Cat's Daily Diary

Day 283 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house-plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmm...not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move, Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

"Esther" by Esterlyn

"He heals the broken hearted,
He binds their wounds
He is love

He finds those forgotten,
Those who have been abused
He is love

He knows your name

A father to the fatherless
A healer to the brokenness
You make beauty from the ashes
A helper to the helpless
A fighter to the hopeless
You love those who are alone

He comforts the lonely,
He hears their cry
He is love

He holds the children,
Throughout the night
He is love

A father to the fatherless
A healer to the brokenness
You make beauty from the ashes
A helper to the helpless
A fighter to the hopeless
You love those who are alone

Give us your heart Lord
Help us love the unseen
Give us your eyes Lord
Help us love those in need"

Convicted

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains,
but have not love,
I AM NOTHING.
If I give away all I have,
and if I deliver up my body to be burned,
but have not love,
I GAIN NOTHING."
- 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

What truth to be hit over the head with. Yesterday morning I went to Buns by the Lake, a local sort of "mom and pop" bakery. I was just setting up my computer to begin my long day of work since I had procrastinated long enough that I had the majority of my charts to do for the book of Matthew. I was the only other customer in the store since it was still fairly early in the morning when a man (possibly in his late 30's or early 40's) came in and ordered. He looked at me with an interesting glance as he walked in, but considering I was looking at him as well, I didn't think much of it. He came over and asked if it was my Colorado license out there to which I responded 'Yes.'
This got us to talking about many different things, among which was his second question of how I ended up in Somers, MT. I told him I was attending Bible college in Lakeside just down the road. A smile crept up on his face and this started my hour long conversation with this man. I was very concerned about my time, but God has been speaking to me a lot about getting out into the community and I believe that this includes the remainder of my time here in Montana. This man was very interesting to talk to since many of his thoughts had to do with quantum physics - something I know next to nothing about! However, he did believe in God - though he himself is not a church-goer. Through the course of our discussion I came to realize that he must have been deeply wounded by the church since even at my mention of Jesus commanding us to love one another he cringed. He didn't like the idea of God "commanding" us to do anything, he simply thought it was a "suggestion." He and I continued our conversation for awhile and then we parted ways.
This morning I was reading and, though I was not looking for this specific passage, I came to 1 Corinthians 13. I was convicted within the first three verses of the chapter in relation to my conversation I had with the man yesterday. I never caught his name, but I prayed for him after our discussion. Yet, one of his biggest arguments against the word "command" was that he thought it painted a picture of condemnation by God. What have we done as a church to give the lost this impression of the commandments of God? Do we look at his commandments as a chore, or as a joy? God's heart for us is that we love one another because HE FIRST LOVED US! I was convicted in the little things like laughing at some of the things he was saying - not to say they weren't funny, but am I really loving that person if I'm not loving them through my words both in front of him and behind his back? I guess this commandment is not always something we take seriously as Christians. This is the greatest commandment of all - to love both God and people. It has been a long time since I thought about how I love those who seem unloveable. Jesus is the one who touched the lepers when no one else would and he did it without laughing about their situation later. We, as the body of Christ, are called to live as he lived. Yet the impression that we give people of the love of God is wrong. We have made it seem "too hard" or like a joke and I believe it breaks the heart of God. I want to learn how to love people as he did - I want to be the one to touch the lepers when no one else will. I want to be the one who, rather than laughing at something as silly as a man trying to explain that everything (inlcuding inanimate objects) goes to heaven, I pray for his salvation and total truth to be revealed to him. I pray that as the body of Christ we would really do that by doing what he did through loving the unloveable. They are desperate for his love!

I've been to this temple in Chiang Rai, Thailand. It is called Wat Rong Khun and the most elaborate temple in all of Thailand. This is a picture of hell and the Thai people must pay to pass through the bridge (the hands are all around the outside to represent that the spiritually pure may enter the Buddhist temple.

Christ With Me

"Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye of everyone who sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me."
- St. Patrick

God, this is my prayer! I want everyone I come into contact with and everyone who hears of my testimony to see your fingerprints all over me. I don't want them to think I have done anything on my own but let them know the extent of your grace in my life. Let everything I say and think always reflect you and your love for humanity. Would you be my everything, O God?

Bittersweet Endings

I don't honestly know where to start with what I'm thinking and feeling right now. I'm just looking at the calendar counting down the days until my SBS experience will be over. Bittersweet is such a fitting word because it encompasses so many feelings all in one - you're sad, you're excited, you're afraid, you're confident, you're confused, you have a head full of knowledge...and the list continues.
This week I have felt as if I have so much time on my hands that I don't know what to do with. It's like the end of a race when you are still pushing hard, but you begin to slow your pace down. Going along with this analogy, my feet are tired from the long trek through SBS, yet looking around at those running with me I can see that the end is coming upon us all too soon. I will never be with these people all at once again and, though it is a harsh reality, I will likely never speak with many of them again. Some I will keep in contact with, but trying to stay in touch with 41 people - not including staff, is a tough job. I cannot express the growth I have experienced this year with these people - the good times and the hard times. It has been so amazing. I am surrounded by awesome people who are completely in love with Jesus and passionate! I hate to think about going home and realizing that not everyone is in love with Jesus, and many lose their passion.
On top of all of this, I am excited to come home and experience the continuation of this growth. I am excited to meet new people and move into different areas of ministry. It will be the turning the page of one chapter and beginning to write another. But the exciting part is that I am not the author - God is! He is so faithful. I'm laughing at myself because just 9 short months ago I was dreading the idea of SBS, and now everytime I see these people and look around at the beautiful lake surrounded by beautiful mountains, and when I hear the sound of the babbling brook, I can't help but think that I don't want to leave this place. It will be so good to be home. I keep getting confirming words that even when I don't know what I'll be doing for certain - whether that be school this fall, SBS staff in Australia, or even little things like where I will work - God has me right where he wants me. HE is the one who directs my steps. HE makes my paths straight. God, may I be faithful to the calling you have placed on my life for this season. I love you so much and am excited for the new adventures you have for me.
SBS - It's been my joy and privilege doing this school with you. I hope our paths cross again. You all are amazing people who love the Lord with all your hearts.

Home

I am SO excited for this coming weekend! In exactly 48 hours I will be on a plane headed home for my brother's high school graduation. I'll be home Friday, Saturday, Sunday and I'll get back to Lakeside around 8 pm Sunday. Work load is a little more stressful than usual and I'm a little disappointed in missing out on Annie and Justin's wedding this weekend, but I couldn't be happier that this is the weekend I get to go home. :)

On a slightly more awkward level, you know those moments that happen and you want to laugh out loud, but can't? Those moments that you feel totally awkward at the mistake of another person and there's nothing you can really do about it. This morning I was making toast in the cafeteria and I set my knife down for like .02 seconds to grab something. When I went to grab it again, it was gone! I thought, Where could I have possibly put it? It's not like there are THAT many places I could have lost it in here... At that moment I looked over at the sweet New Zealander standing next to me and noticed that where she did not have a knife a minute ago, she now had one. So I waited, trying not to laugh, knowing that soon she would be done and my knife would no longer be held hostage. But after she spread her butter around, she quickly grabbed a jelly pack and started spreading jelly on her bread. So finally I ran around to grab another knife so I could do the same. But by the time I had grabbed my second knife she was already done and enjoying her toast...(*sigh*) I guess there's a reason moms teach their kids how to share and be patient at a young age - they hope that you'll actually get it and be able to practice it in situations like these when you're older... :|

This week I have just been in awe of the love of Christ. I can't even fathom its depth. I can't grasp its height. I can't always see the length to which it reaches, but I can feel its strength. Every morning I wake up with such joy. That is a word that people have used to describe me over and over again. I can't explain it any other way than Christ's love in me. Yet at the same time, I oftentimes forget the reality of it all. I lose sight of who he is and what he has done in the busyness of life. Isn't that so amazing? How can one forget his love when it's something I read about everyday and experience every minute of every day?
I wish I could express on this single page how real and awesome the love of the Father is. It truly strikes such a chord in my spirit that leaves me in awe. We do nothing to deserve it, I do nothing to deserve. Yet it's mine for the taking - it's yours to take. I don't know if we'll ever be able to explain why it's ours, but that doesn't matter. It's one of those things in life that just simply IS. God is so great; his love is as great as he is because that is exactly WHAT and WHO he is! God is love and I am so blessed to have the privilege and honor of experiencing it.
Something I was thinking about a lot this week is just how God allows us to experience him. He's not just an idea or a distant source. He is personal. His love is personal and he wants all of us to experience it. My prayer for you is that God will reveal himself to you; that he will reveal his love to you. I can't say that I really know who "you" are, but God does. If you keep up with my blogging or if you're just passing through and stumbled upon this, know that it is not by accident. God just wanted to remind you of his love for you today. I pray that you experience it today in the things you see, hear, smell, taste and touch.

Swing Dancing

This weekend a friend of mine on the base, Mark, and some guys from Big Fork hosted a swing dance workshop at the base. They flew a couple of people from Seattle out to teach some lindy hop lessons and then we danced a bit for the last couple of hours. It was so much fun! I've never done lindy before, so that was definitely a learning experience. I felt bad for some of the guys who danced with me a bit because I was thoroughly confused and very tired, but we made it through. :D Had a good time dancing with some of the guys on base as well as meeting/dancing with some others I didn't know. It makes me excited to come back home and make it a weekly thing either at the VFW or AFA. I learned the Shim Sham line dance...actually quite difficult, especially comparing it to other line dances like the Electric Slide, etc. Anyway, all-in-all it was a lot of fun. I was proud of every one and the effort they put forth to learn new things - including myself! :)

Sunday

Well, I have tried to write a couple of different things lately, but haven't had much time to do so. Let's see, what did I do today?

• Got lost in Kalispell a couple of time just wandering around going wherever happened to suit my fancy at that given time...thrift store, random side roads...Wait, how do I get back? Turn around...start again...Somers...back home again... :)
• Went to Wal-Mart for deodorant and found a couple of good movies - Memoirs of a Geisha and The Trouble with Angels
  
• Went to Starbucks and McDonalds...because the two go hand-in-hand...?
• Ate a very awkward dinner with what was supposed to be an "all guys" table...sorry, Eirik. :/
• Will eventually watch The Trouble with Angels later today
• Will watch Hooker's basketball game (Hooker is his last name for those of you who are confused right now)
• Then I'll be going to bed fairly early tonight...hopefully (*Fingers crossed*)

My weekend = Sweet. :)

Help Please!

Well, the clutch to my car is completely OUT! :( I was just on the phone with my dad and the dealership said it would be about $2400 to replace it and it wouldn't be done by Friday. This is very bad news considering I need to leave by Saturday and the very latest and there's not enough room in the other car heading back to Montana for all of us to fit. This means that I need nothing short of a miracle to get back to school to finish out the last three months of the year. Disappointing and pretty scary right now.
God, I pray that you would give me peace in this situation. That you would provide me with the $2400 and provide a way for me to get back to school. I ask that you would just work a miracle in this. Thank you so much that you are ALWAYS in control and that you saw this coming before I ever did. God you are so good and I declare that out right now. Please have your way in this situation. Amen.

"Wait, wait! I changed my mind!"

Do you ever have one of those days where you wish you could undo everything? The things you say, the things you do...everything! Today I was working on my BRI - Basic Required Information, for SBS and as I hit save I realized I saved it under my template I use for all the OT books. Ok, no problem, this happens ALL THE TIME. So I begin to erase it all and then I saved it under the right name. Crap...then I just had a confusing moment of I don't know what I'm doing!!! And lost my entire BRI. :( I thought about how nice it would be to have an "I'm an idiot, forget everything I just did" button. :/ Oh well, maybe I'll send my idea into HP or Mac and see what they think. ;)

Extravagant

Your love is extravagant. Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel I'm moving to the rhythm of your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in the secret place
Your love is extravagant

Spread wide in the arms of Christ is a love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known that you consider me your friend
Capture my heart again

Yesterday I was talking with my older brother and just was having a hard time. He is going through a divorce with his wife of five years and three children (all under the age of four). It's so hard to see the people you love go through hard times like this. It's hard to see the other person you love choosing to live their life as they are. I talked with him last night and woke up this morning just sad thinking about it. I know that God is in control, I have seen that time and again in my own life and in the lives of others. But sometimes it's so hard to see when you are going through the process. There are times where I think it would be so easy to let go, and other times where I just want to hold on to the hope that they will get back together. What do you do with that? Is it safe to hold on, or do you just let go? And when you find out what to do for yourself, what do you tell other people?
Something that I think is so easy to forget is that we're not supposed to hold on to anything with a closed fist. God's desire for us as his children is to always leave our hands open so that he can pour into it and fill us up and that it would overflow into the lives of those around us. That's not to say don't fight for your marriage or for your children, but don't fight alone. Don't keep those you hold so dear away from the Lord because then you are fighting without a cause. But let God be the one to fight your battles. He is the one who goes before you, goes behind you, and comes alongside you during the hard times. He is always there and always will be there.

Lord Jesus, please help me to let go. Give me the strength I need to be weak so that you would receive all the glory and honor when I am victorious in all of the challenges I face. I don't know what that looks like all the time, but you do. Thank you so much that you are and always have been in control and that you take me along on this adventure called life. I never have to walk it alone because you are always with me. I love you so much, Jesus. Would you be glorified in this situation with Isaac and Katie and would you be the center.

Scrapbooking?

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Passion

I just spent the last two and a half (or three) hours talking about God. My mouth is dry from my conversations with the two individual people I spoke with. I love that! I realized my passion really is in the Lord. I was talking with someone I hardly know about what a blessing the last six months have been for me to be completely absorbed in God's Word. The more I think about it the more I realize what a privilege it has truly been to take nine months of my life and study the Bible like I never have before. Less than 10% of Christians actually take the time to study the Bible, let alone read it. I have been able to take the opportunity that many people around the world will never get in their lifetime. How blessed am I! Honestly, God makes me come alive. He really is Life - he is the Creator of life and all things good. I can't picture where I would be if I had not been found by him and transformed through his amazing grace.
The other conversation I had involved just thinking about how other people miss out on this grace. I don't know why one wouldn't agree to this crazy adventure called life with the Author of it all. It's amazing how God just knits stories together; it's like a puzzle when people meet and find out what piece of the puzzle they are.
I don't know, for as hard as life seems sometimes, it's so wonderful. I'm really enjoying each part of it - the falling down, standing back up, learning lessons, making friends, finding out who you are... It's like there is always something new to experience.

Today I was just sitting in my dorm room thinking about God. It's so sad to me how he just gets brushed under the carpet so much - even in my own life. I'm in Bible school for crying out loud and I always am making up some excuse as to why I'm too busy to have a quiet time or just pray. He is the whole point of why I'm here, yet it's so easy to make him the last thing I check on my "to do list." Lame! God is so worthy of everything I have! I want to spend so much time with Jesus that when I pass away the only thing that people will be able to say of me is, "Jesus was evident in everything she said and did. She loved God first, others second, and herself last."
I was so excited today because I was just able to turn on some worship music and just dance. I miss that! In every move I did I felt God moving with me. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? God is supposed to be the center of our lives. He wants to move with us in everything we do. He wants to be involved in every decision we make and thing we say. God wants to play with us, work with us, relax with us... There is not one thing that God doesn't want to be involved in. Jesus, I pray that you would always remind me to involve you with every part of my life. I don't want to exclude you from anything, Lord. Come be the venter of my life.